I gotta say after 2 to 3 hours, I was as bored as I would
have been at the Pope's installment. Surrounded by a million
and a half ultra-devout biblethumpers who don't drink. No
one in this crowd will show us their tits.
As I drank in more of the sun and the $6 beer, it dawned on
me that while I may be missing the Andy Griffith Show, I seem
to be making it far as Mount Pilot. Whether down the drag
strip or in the pits, virtually everything was Chevrolet.
Remember in Mayberry, Andy Taylor and Barney would be chasing
Ernest T. and all you would see were mid-1960 Ford Galaxies,
Fairlanes, and Crestlines on the city streets.
Martin, you hapless turd, it's a CHEVY show. I know, but unless
I miss my guess completely I don't really think that all the
people here really gave an armadillo's snout. They liked Chevrolets
for sure, but if someone showed with a Ford, there wouldn't
be an armed uprising. Randy Fabbro, one of Division 7's best
ET and Super Gas racers, showed with his Ford Pinto and no
one could care less.
And that's an important point with me, because the action
(and I use that term very loosely) on the track was in general
abysmal. The bill-boarded Mickey Thompson Pro Nitro Coupe
show involved just nine cars, three of which (at least in
qualifying) ran sixes and that was it. There were a few fun
oddities like this one guy's blown and injected Chevy-powered
Nash Metropolitan, but other than that, it was a weak bracket
show with maybe 150 to 175 entries, all one brand, and not
strong enough in number to prevent 3 and 5-minute lapses where
there were no cars on the track. That's not action.
is action is nodding off to sleep on the lap of the wife of
a couple seated next to you in the grandstands, and foggily
facing a husband primed and ired on $6 Coors Lights. No, the
Super Chevy folks have got to pick it up on the track. When
the drags become a drag, it's time to break out the syringes.
And here's my idea for a hypo for the show. Keep the all-Chevy
car show idea. Maybe a best engineered Chevrolet race car.
Keep the merchandise Chevrolet dominant. Have a Miss Chevrolet
out the air, and for all the Rock Hudsons, a Mr. Chevrolet.
Sell beer in Bowtie cups (and at a great price reduction),
keep the theme Chevy overall ... but ...
…the drag race has got to be all comers. How about Super
Chevy challenges any Mopar anywhere and invites just Mopar
racers. Maybe Ford racers the next week, and then Kia or Rolls
Royce racers the next. Or ... how about a really big bracket
race to complement the nitro coupes, of which there should
be more? From what I saw 99 and 44/100ths of the field consisted
of Chevrolets and econo dragsters. That's like having a bar
hold a Toughman contest for mathematicians only.
In principle, the idea of a brand-promoting drag race is
a good one. However, Super Chevy needs to open some doors
at the race track. Especially if they want more than 3 - to
5,000 fans they had in the stands. The on-track show, hate
to say this 'cuz I know a lot of Chevy people, was yawn-yawn-snore-snore.
Upon leaving the track and headed down Interstate 210, I wasn't
thinking about the races, but more if Bobby Simone was ever
going to hang with Andy Sipowicz again. Bad vibes, dude.
Editor's Note: Martin was obviously a victim of too much
sun, beer and angst to realize that this year Mr. Gustin opened
up the show to all G.M. brands.