Gone Fishing

ell, it was bound to happen. About 12 days ago, I fell off the wagon and landed hard.

I was watching Perry Mason in the case of “The Delectable Degenerate” on this particular afternoon and a ribbon ran below the old black and white TV picture, announcing that Michael Jackson was found unconscious in his house. At that moment, I thought, “No big deal, that’s happened dozens of times to me.” However, about a half hour later, the news stated that the lovable strange-o had gotten off the bus, and I went ballistic.

I ran upstairs, tears spraying wildly out of my crossed eyes, grabbed a bed sheet and spray-painted “Long Live Michael Johnson (Jeepers, that explains the M-80s in the mail box)” and attempted to throw it over the basketball backboard in the driveway. I was balanced on a Radio Flyer wagon trying to do this, when it flew out from under me dumping me on my head and nearly putting me in the same rubber room with Michael and Frankie Lymon.

Things worsened when I got word that Sky Saxon of the Seeds had blown off the planet the same day. Damn! Is there no relief??? Ed McMahon, then M.J., Saxon, Fairly Famous Majors, Gale Storm, Karl Malden, and hell-bound mass murderer Robert S. McNamara, ENOUGH!!! I NEED A VACATION!!!

All these emotional gut shots and a once a month deadline were just too much. So I’m going to need some time off.

Okay. On to the sport bits that keep my monthly regurgitations barely about drag racing.

When I return early this fall, I expect to see Larry Dixon and Al-Anabi Racing in the Top Fuel lead. Crew chief Alan Johnson, currently the single most potent force in pro nitro drag racing, has hit his groove and that’s probably going to be too much for the competition. Funny Car will be very close, but I lean toward a history making Ashley Force Hood with a narrow Funny Car lead, and Jeg Coughlin castrating the Pro Stocks.

Ball it up this summer and ….

Don’t call me; I’ll call you.