:  In some ways it doesn’t seem that long ago that we had the manufacturer rivalries, but it’s longer ago than we thought.

LM: Bob Glidden was out there. God bless Bob Glidden. He made s--- happen that nobody could. And him and Warren and the things that they had going on back in the day, we don’t have that anymore. Do we need it? Absolutely. Are we going to get it? Not a chance. We don’t have the support of the manufacturers. And we need that.

: What about the imports? How would you feel about the import brands getting involved in Pro Stock?

LM: I think we need that. I think we ought to have that.   

: A lot of younger kids relate to those cars.

LM: Because the cost is out of control in our class, I suggested they take our cars and take whatever the NASCAR motors are and put that in our cars and put fuel injection on it, where it looks like a car you can buy from Ford – actually a production car. This is for our class. That's not going to fix drag racing, but for our class. But they don’t want to hear that. They said that'll change the cost of it. I'm thinking, "Are you s----ing me?!" They let guys put $18,000 shocks on their s--- and spend $100,000 to convert their rear ends over to 11-inch gear and you're going to bitch about something like that? That doesn’t make good sense to me. 

: The entire sport is a backwards business model, not just the Pro Stock class.

LM: God bless Connie Kalitta. What would happen if Connie says, "You know what? I have had enough of this s---." What would happen? Think about that. If he pulled out, then Schumacher says, "I'm old enough. I've done all I can do over here. I'm over this s---." What if all that happened? There would be no drag racing. I mean, if those two guys, if something happened, and those two guys said, "To hell with it," tell me what would happen. It would be over for drag racing.

: I think Robert Patrick is the only other Pro Stock racer with a Ford. Do you two share any data or technology with each other?

LM: He's driving one, and J.R. Carr tried to do it. You know what the problem is? Nobody wants to work together. I tried to put a deal together with J.R. Carr, and I think Frank Gugliotta put a kapooch to it. That was the end. It was done then. And then J.R. said, "You know what? [To heck] with this s---." He's over it. I hate that. I hate that it’s that way. When you put your whole life into something and it’s not successful, and you just keep going and going and going, you can only take so much, you know what I mean? You can only do so much.

: What has become of the "Can't Fix Stupid" movement?
LM: I haven't heard any more on that. You can’t fix stupid. There's no fixing it. That'll never change. Stupid is just stupid. I even thought about a shirt that says, "See? You still can't fix stupid." But I don’t know... I don’t want to dig on the sanctioning body. They dig enough friggin' holes on their own. It's like having a job and being pissed off at your job all the time. I'm not going to be that way.

Listen, I can tell you right now... after that whole deal [about eight years ago at Columbus, Ohio, in which Morgan chastised the NHRA for the malfunctioning Christmas tree and the fact that too many tire-smoking runs were boring the fans]... Graham and I are good friends. We're buddies, and we don’t always agree on things. And we probably never will, because I'm not going to kiss his ass. I don’t give a damn about any of that. The problem that you have is that that guy has every competitor to deal with. And every one of us ass---- are different. We're not going to always agree, but the guy does a pretty good job with what he's got to work with.    

: I didn’t take that "Can't Fix Stupid" incident as a knock on Graham personally.

LM: I think everyone else did. That whole deal was because of the electronics. NHRA was buying those photo cells that were friggin' seconds [replacement sensors]. Instead of buying them from [Bob] Brockmeier, they were buying seconds. And that's what was happening. See? They only got two frickin' things to take care of: the frickin' track and the electronics. And I said, "You can’t fix stupid," and I meant that because that's how it is.
They're going to do what they can do to save money. And you can’t do that. They only have two things to take care of, the track and the electronics, and they can put on a show. If you back up on either of those two things, you’re going to be in deep s---. And that's what happened to them there.     

: I understand the NHRA called you to see if you could round up another Pro Stock driver or two to enter the Las Vegas race because the field wasn't filled.

LM: They didn’t call me. I called them, because they didn’t have a full field. And I said I can get another car. Graham made sure I was able to do that. That guy wants to make it good. It's a slap in their face when they don’t get cars.

: They shouldn’t look at it as a slap in the face but more like a warning signal, a sign that something is wrong.

LM: That's how I look at it and you look at it. Now, whether they do, I don’t know. I think they could possibly look at it as "Hey – that's going to save one guy I don’t have to pay money to." I think that's how they look at it. If they sell their program as a full field, if they sell tickets as [if they will run] 16 Pro Stock cars, 16 Funny Cars, 16 Top Fuel cars, when you don’t have that and the fans get hold of that, they say, "We're not going to pay $75 – we're going to pay $60, because you don't have a full field. And they don’t need that, either.

: So you get branded as a dissident when you speak up in the hope you'll bring about improvements. But look who's one of the first to reach out to the NHRA to help them avoid embarrassment and make the show better. You care. You speak up because you want this sport to be the best it can be.

LM: I've lived my whole life doing this, and I love drag racing. And I've got a passion for it. But they've got to understand that I see things from a different view than they do. They need to listen to other people. That's the point I'm trying to make. Without you out there, without a lot of other people making them aware of this, it's an issue. I'm not sure the sanctioning body sees what's going on.